Dear Parents,
Your children are about to write
their exams. The kind of anxieties and fear the exams generate these days is
unparalleled. While everybody else, the peer group, neighbours, uncles and
aunts, teachers, schools, newspapers, T. V. channels judge the children only
through their marks, you definitely must not do the same.
I believe you understand that each
child is unique and no one understands your child better than you do. In order
to give her/his best, your child needs your support. Here is how you can
support your child.
1. Stop Constant Nagging:
Most of the parents believe that it is their duty to keep
reminding their child about her/his responsibility. It actually is not. If you
had been able to get an effective routine set for your child, believe me your
child needs no reminders during exams. Treat your child the way you love to be
treated. Do you love being reminded every five minutes that you have to go to
office, go grocery shopping or cook dinner? Your constant reminders become
counterproductive and generate a feeling of low self esteem and never put the
child on the auto mode.
2. Be Available:
Your physical presence in the house works like a magic. It
generates a feeling of emotional security. Children usually go through a lot of
stress, anxieties and fears while preparing for exams. With at least one of the
parents available in the evening after the child is back from school makes a
tremendous difference to your child’s mental wellbeing. Your child gets the
feeling that in her or his challenging times (remember the exam times are one
of the most challenging times at least for children because everybody is
judging them) the parents were there.
3. Create A Conducive Environment:
Not only be available at home, keep away from all
distractions too. How can you expect a young girl or boy to keep away from
screens when you yourself are over indulgent in mobiles, TV and outings? This
is the time to put a hold on your own socialisation, favourite TV shows or
social media. Doing this you send a message to your child that exams are
important events and need to be taken seriously (see, in the long run no exams
other than those of life are important). A word of caution though- a cup of tea
with a neighbour in the evening or a grocery shopping trip won’t harm your
child’s preparation. The idea is to create a balanced and happy environment at
home. No hype over exams and no casual attitude.
4. Use The Positive Words and Language, No Comparison :
Though this is an all time essential to be positive while
dealing with children, it becomes all the more important during exams. Remember
your statements like,
“You won’t
get admission in a good college if you don’t score well.” ,
“I am sure,
you are not going to score well with just two or three hours of study
everyday.” or
“Your
friends are all scoring better than you, you are good for nothing.” create a feeling of anxiety and
fear in the mind of your child.
Your aim as parent must be to ensure that your child is doing
her/ his best. Your child’s everyday target must be to enhance her/ his
performance with each preparatory hour. Even if your child’s score is showing
no upward trend in one particular subject, remember she/he is good at some
other subject and skill.
5.
Monitor
Your Child’s Progress and Discuss the Strategy to Attempt Exams:
Just don’t be available at home, spend quality time with your
child. During breaks, discuss what all is done, what is a cause of concern.
Track the output. Motivate her/him to attempt mock tests, previous years’
question papers. After mock tests, help identifying the areas of concern and
how to build on them. Go through my blog Mantras
To Score Well https://growinupwithlife.blogspot.com/2020/02/mantras-to-score-well.html
and help your child strategize her/his exam. Remember, while strategizing
if your child is able to handle the issues independently, let her/him do. Our
job as parents is to just initiate the process. Believe me, your child is
smarter than you think.
6.
Help Your Child
to Play on Strengths:
Remember, no one is perfect. No child knows correct answers
to all concepts of all subjects. As parent help your child to focus on this
fact. Identifying the areas of improvement and working on them is important but
equally important is to practice the concepts that we have mastered to score
well. So while preparing for exams, only a pre decided amount of time must be
spent on weaker areas. For instance, assume your child is very clear and
thorough with 9 concepts out of total 10 for one specific subject and the
weightage of that unprepared concept in exams is 5%. Ideally the focus must be
on securing those 95% completely through regular practice and making up for
remaining 5% through building upon the concept by practicing everyday for say
half an hour or maximum an hour. Remaining time of daily study must be spent on
consolidating what is already prepared.
7.
Respond
Maturely After each Exam:
The time right after one exam is very crucial to set the tone
for the next exam. Your child needs someone to listen to her/his feelings,
apprehensions, fears and anxieties immediately after the exam. Listen
patiently, don’t jump to conclusions as to her/ his score with statements like,
“I told you so, you just don’t listen to
me”, “We had discussed the things yesterday only.” Just listen and
apparently if the exam has not gone on the expected lines, try to get the
child’s attention focused on the next one. Your child needs a pat even if the
exam has gone well because the tempo must be maintained for the next one too.
8.
Be Aware of
Warning Signs:
Remember despite your best efforts and support, you don’t
know how your child is taking the things. So be alert. Any signs of deviations
from normal like a disturbed eating or
sleeping pattern, too much on texts or calls or statements like, “I am good for nothing.”, “I have ruined my
career.” or “All my friends are going to
get good college.” are actually signs of distress. Intervene and talk out
the issue. Let your child know that you are with her/him whatever be the result
and this all is just an exam, a part of life not the life itself.
9.
Prepare
Food of Your Child’s Choice:
Believe me or not, getting to eat the food of your choice is
gratifying. The mind and brain create happy feelings and happy feelings help
you to do better. See, when I say the food of choice I don’t mean unhealthy or junk food. All I want to
highlight is that you as parents are definitely aware of your child’s choices.
Out of all her/his choices, serve the healthy ones because too much of carbohydrates
and sugar induce sleep also.
10. Help Your
Child To Maintain A Healthy Routine:
To get the best performance of your child, you must help
her/him to maintain a healthy routine. A good performance is not just a factor
of knowing your concepts well. It is an outcome of fresh and active mind, a
well rested body and adequately fed belly too. Just imagine your child knew her/his concepts well, had practised enough but was not alert on the day of exam due to tired mind so could not perform the best. So see to it that your child
takes at least 7-8 hours of sleep at a stretch everyday in order to allow mind
and body the much needed rest and rejuvenation.
11. Keep Yourself
Calm:
Finally you must practice keeping your mind calm through
whatever works for you- yoga, meditation, exercise or chanting of mantras.
Remember your state of mind is the most important factor for your child to
perform well. Very often we negate this fact but believe me, your mind is energy
in motion which definitely impacts the other energy in motion that is your
child’s mind.
So relax dear parents, play your
role to the best of your capacity and let your child play hers/his. Remember this is just an exam, a milestone that your child is about to cross holding your hand. Even if your child fails the exam , you must not fail your child.
Just follow the tips and enjoy
watching your child doing her/his best.
ALL THE VERY BEST!!!
With Regards
Anju Arora
Amazing content. <3
ReplyDeleteWhat about the situation where both Parents are working and have odd working hours or international shift timings? Any specific tips for them?
ReplyDeleteSee, when your child is your priority you think differently.
DeleteBoth the parents can mutually decide to be available on rotation basis.Things have to be worked out in advance keeping in mind the child's schedule, the parents leave schedule, working targets and many such factors.Work from home facility available usually in international shifts can be planned to be availed at this time.
Where there is a will, there is a way.
π...every single line is meaningful..it will b very helpful and beneficial.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
DeleteGem of tips!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. Please note these tips will work only when we choose to apply in real life situations.Share with others too. Let us reach out to the people.
DeleteValuable parenting tips !!
ReplyDeleteThese tips are awesome. Every parent must follow these tips and let their children prepare for exams without giving them unnecessary stress.
ReplyDeleteThankyou so much.
DeleteIt's nicely put.
ReplyDeleteEach paragraph must be read and there are many tips which are easy to apply.
Will be helpful to many parents.
Need of hour these tips for parents and kids.
Thank you so much.
DeleteNicely written π Great inputs !
ReplyDeleteNecessary parenting guide book. Must read for every parent!
ReplyDeleteVery well written ^^
ReplyDeleteA must read for all parents and soon-to-be parents :)
Beautifully written and well explained.!! :)
ReplyDeleteWell written!
ReplyDeleteIt's so goodπ
ReplyDeleteVery valuable and important points which will be very beneficial for everyone
ReplyDeleteGreat Insights provided
ReplyDeleteThis is really essential for modern-day parents to understand and apply. The children now need their parents to become more of friends than overstrict , rigid guardians. Great content.
ReplyDeleteYes.. parents just have to be facilitators rather than controlling freaks.Understanding the uniqueness of each child, helping to set the reasonable boundaries and letting them be, in a conducive environment is the best that can be done.
DeleteVery nice!
ReplyDeleteA little thing to be understood on both sides. ππ
ReplyDeleteVery well written
ReplyDeleteSuch nice words ! Thanks for giving such an enhancement of knowledge on a very important topic!
ReplyDeleteniceπ
ReplyDeletevery much realistic... everyone parents
ReplyDeletethrough this... so that it may enhance every single child to build a proper career along with a healthy mind...
Very well written π
ReplyDeleteNice.....very well writtenπ
ReplyDeleteeffectively written and well said... gained enormous knowledge
ReplyDeleteTrue, every parent have to understand this, do not pressurize your children understand what they really wants and supports them accordingly. But every coin has two face, children also have to understand their parent whatever they do, they do for them for well-being.
ReplyDeleteNiceπ
ReplyDeletesomething really serious at this time.....Must readπ
ReplyDeleteNicely written with some must knowing facts for the growth of children.π
ReplyDeleteVery well written
ReplyDeleteThe points mentioned are so simple to be followed for the healthy growth of a child. Why can't we realise that it's we who make the matters complicated ?
ReplyDeleteThe writer deserves a big hand of applause.ππ
Thank you so much. Actually this is all about exchange of energy.. the kind of energy that we give around, comes back multiplied to us only. I still remember my Grandma guiding my Mother as to what kind of words must she use with us. We were treated as responsible beings and the faith in our capabilities was always shown. whenever I look back I remember we had stress free childhood though we had our own share of challenges and hardships (My father passed away when I was in class 8). I believe it was just because the significant adults in our lives were responding wisely to the situations and never reacting and that has made all the difference.
DeleteVery Helpful and valuable tipsπ
ReplyDeleteSo good✌✌
ReplyDeleteReally appreciate the content. Yes Parents do need to take care of their child during their utmost need. A child finds more solace with their parents than anyone else. U really need a big hand of applause for such a great content.
ReplyDeletevery helpful points that r often ignored ππ
ReplyDeleteActually the most important things are always so simple that we often miss them.
DeleteGreat content!
ReplyDeleteAmazing work,very informative
ReplyDeleteComparisons and regularly reminded expectations can be a hell of an addon pressure over students in this modern world of competition, apart from their studies. Parents do need to know the importance of making their children ready for both the scenarios of result, positive and negative. Great content.
ReplyDeleteI believe , the only competition a child needs to get exposed is to compete with self.
DeleteActually this is a value which is lost in today's fast paced, competition driven world.
Every one is capable of giving one's best and as long as that happens, we must relax.
We must also remember that we can't grow apples on oranges trees and vice versa. our children are all unique and we must accept this fact. The sooner this realization dawns on us,the better becomes the life for both parents and children as well.
These are the fact which our parents keep on doing but when we remind them their ego gets hurt. So this generation needs to change so that they don't do the same things on future generation
ReplyDeleteAn appropriate write up published at appropriate time. No doubt students need to study hard but parents have more important role to play so as to boost the morale of their wards and create a healthy atmosphere around.
ReplyDeleteYeah.. both of them have to play their roles effectively however I understand, the future generation is being shaped into our hands so we have to be more responsible. The kind of reinforcements we provide to the children actually becomes reality over a period of time.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteEach and every line written means a lot if taken seriously by parents.Very nicely written. Keep writing like this, we need more and more tips on this. Thanks ma'am for sharing these tips. ��
ReplyDeleteThank you so much and remember, we the teachers fraternity also are the second parents to our students so our words and conduct also has to align to the tips.
DeleteWill not disappoint you, there is a lot that needs to be shared. Life has not just added years to the age, it has taught valuable lessons also. Love you Zindagi.
ππ
ReplyDeleteGreat content mam, it will really make a difference.
ReplyDeleteThankyou so much.
Delete